I will say one thing for Monty, he keeps a sensational cellar. Them pheasants are for his pot. Marwood: St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. I think we've been in here too long. It was like walking into a lung. Hair are your aerials. Withnail: Would it be in bad form to plagiarise a toast? The "I must sleep with you because I've been scared" - convenient isn't it, when you're both half or . What the fuck do you mean? Add spice to it. Indeed, I remember my first agent. Look here, my cousin's a QC! The paragon of animals. Withnail freezes in terror with a mouthful of pie]. The old bugger's come a long way and I didn't want to put the wind up him. Withnail: Then why has my head gone numb? Headhunter to his friends. He winces as he stretches his leg]. Tea Shop Proprietor: I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? I can never touch meat until it's cooked. Withnail. Irishman: *What are you doing prowling around in the middle of the fucking night*? Oh, Oxford Marwood: Withnail: I fail to see my familys of any interest to you. It's trying to get itself in with you, it's trying for even more advantage! Now, what makes you think I should give you something for your pot? [eyes filling with tears] Monty: let him get his drugs out! Withnail: General: The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! My partner's got a really good idea for making dolls. He leans up close to her, speaking into to her hearing aid]. Discover the priceless words that sparkle and shine here.
Let's be 'Withnail and I' (1987) - datalounge.com Monty:
Here Hare Here - YouTube This doesn't go down at all well. [Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window]. Withnail: I've got a bastard behind the eyes. Monty: The wankers don't drink it because they can't afford it. I feel like a pig shat in my head. Do you know, when you first came in here I knew you were a services man. Hey, show no fear! Marwood: He's right, Withnail, look at him! [Withnail laughs hysterically and falls to the floor, then vomits on Marwood's feet], Withnail: Withnail: As a youth, I used to weep in butchers' shops! move forward or backward to get to the perfect spot. Marwood: Marwood: (Voice-over) Danny's here. You mustn't blame yourself. It's ridiculous. [he picks up the kettle on the stove. Uncle Monty: Oh, my boys, my boys, forgive me. I hope you guys like our collection. Marwood: Suits me. It's got to warm up. We're incompatible. Withnail: Why don't you use a cup like any other human being? You mustn't blame him.
Withnail & I (1987) - Ruthless Reviews Why can't I get on television? Because I don't advise it. [after being threatened by Jake the poacher] Change down, man, find your neutral space. I'm not going to understudy anybody. Withnail: This suit was cut by Hawkes of Savile Row. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Here. Bastard must have died. [wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway] It's society's crime, not ours. Black puddings are no good to us. Danny: Withnail: He's a madman. I think we better release you from the lgume, and transfer your talents to the meat. Withnail and I is a comedy-drama film which got pretty popular. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author's best ideas. Monty: No need to get uptight, man. I'm gonna be a sta-a-a-a-ar! grant . He's been fed from arsehole to beak. Forgive me, it was inconsiderate of me not to have telegrammed. Withnail: Monty: No more than you have. What the f*** are you talking about? We get in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50s each. Withnail: I assure I'm not [drunk], officer, honestly, I've only had a few light ales. I must be ill. Monty: It's obsessed with its gut. Voila! What is all this tactical necessity and calculated risk? Marwood: Get out of it for a while. Cake. Withnail: This is ridiculous. Withnail: Danny: Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts . Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head. Withnail: Marwood: But sooner or later you've got to get out because it's crashing. This is me, naked in a corner! [after trying the Camberwell Carrot] I'm getting the *fear*! This is a British cult classic. This dreadful little Israelite. Withnail: Like "Withnail: This is ridiculous. [whispering] Here hare here!' Soak up the booze. Danny: If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present! Easily His head must weigh fifty pounds on its own. It's society's crime, not ours. It's those dreadful beady eyes, they stare you out. You little thug! Get that damned little swine out of here! I don't care where you come from! Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up. Didn't you hear? Do you realise this gaff's overrun with rodents? You love him. It can utilise up to 12 skins. This thread is archived. Withnail & I is in my personal Top 5 movies of all time for re-watchablity and scathing dialogue. Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head. Marwood: (Voice-over) I could hardly piss straight with fear. Marwood: [to Marwood] Shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour. I want something's flesh! This is me naked in a corner! He winces as he stretches his leg, the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down, they go and sit down at a table with their drinks, fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons, a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback, he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his, after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm, Withnail laughs uncontrollably and drops to the floor, Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel, Withnail has been pulled over by the police for speeding down the motorway in the beat-up Jaguar, gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back, in a telephone box, speaking to an operator, noticing the plastic bags that Withnail is wearing over his shoes, after being threatened by Jake the poacher, Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff, Marwood is leaving to go to Manchester to do a play. 2 pound 10 a tit and a fiver for his arse! Marwood: We'll tell him they had a farmers' conference and had a run on them. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of *dust*? I'm not going to understudy anybody. No fridges, no televisions, no phones! Withnail: Well neither have I. Withnail: Raymond Duck. Withnail: Plot - Withnail and "I" - the narrator - are two aspiring actors and friends who are looking for a job in London without success. He's lent us his cottage. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. Withnail: What have you done to them? C*nt give him two years. . We shall buy this place and fire you immediately. All right, this is the plan. We may as well sit round this cigarette. Change down, man. The sky's beginning to bruise, night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. Monty: Marwood: Marwood: [Contemplating how to kill a chicken for supper] It's got dreadful beady eyes, they stare at you. Jake: Isaac Parkin: I don't know what's in here. Marwood: He leans up close to her, speaking into to her hearing aid, Mr Parkin is sitting on his tractor with one leg wrapped from thigh to ankle in a plastic fertiliser bag. Withnail: Find *anything*. This *is* the morning. What fucker said that? How noble in reason! You got a rush. Tea Shop Proprietor: In this case, it most certainly would not. Withnail and I Quotes. He says he won't come in for lunch without an apology. Survey of rural types. Withnail: Tea Shop Proprietor: Marwood: (Voice-over) Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, and for once I'm inclined to believe Withnail is right. I think we've been in here too long. What a piece of work is a man! I'm not gonna understudy anybody. [to Withnail] We're not from London! There's the supper.
. I'm glad you're the proprietor, I was gonna have to have a word with you anyway. Marwood: I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering. I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. Danny: withnail and i quotes I'm not having this shag sack insulting me! I shall miss you too. Throw yourself into the road, darling! And I'm sitting in this bloody shack and I can't cope with Withnail. Hair are your aerials. Oh, of course you are. Because I want to walk you to the station. It's society's crime, not ours. It's horrible really but they like that, the little girls. Danny: Marwood: moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. Withnail: I could take double anything you could! So he looks at the Coalman and says, "What's all this? How can I possibly know what we should do? Marwood puts his hand on Withnail's shoulder, they've arrived at the cottage, it's cold and dark, amorously puts his hand on Marwood's arm as he peels vegetables, he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it, stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat. Withnail: I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! *Scrubbers*! [the bull is scraping the ground with its front hoof, snorting]. Monty: Withnail: [they've arrived at the cottage, it's cold and dark]. Jake: That's politics, innit? You been away? Monty: Here hare here. The paragon of animals! [lunges towards the sink] What have you done to them? It's all your fault. Marwood: You've got soup. Street: The Embalmer! Scrubbers! Sort of said it without thinking. [Withnail's lonely, aging homosexual uncle Monty has gone home, leaving a note humbly apologising for the desperate sexual advances he made on Marwood the night before]. No fridges, no televisions, no phones. Withnail and I is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. Withnail & I - The Script - Tripod I'll show the lot of you! Marwood: Monty: Keep your bag up. These are the best withnail and I quotes. Hurry up, Mabs. Jake: Wait till the morning, we'll go in together. He is even taller than Withnail and much more burly. I feel unusual. Were incompatible. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. An expert on bulls you are not! He's building the prototype now. That's what you say. Now, would you leave? Withnail: It's impossible to use 12 papers on one joint. These eels are for my pot. How come Monty owns such a horrible little shack? Marwood: My thumbs have gone weird! Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! It's the only solution to this intense cold. If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. We get in there and get wrecked, then we'll eat a pork pie, then we'll drop a couple of Surmontil-50's each. [teary-eyed] Withnail: It's you he wants. Withnail: I could take double anything you could. Withnail: Imagine getting into a fight with the fucker! Why can't I get on television? And we want them here, and we want them now! "I'm gonna pull you head off." I ain't got no pheasants, ain't got no birds. Let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Marwood: They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch] Withnail: [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] We mean no harm! Look at him. No, no, you can't. Goes into court in his caftan and a bell. What's in your hump? Withnail: We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here and we want them now! If I lay 10 mils of diazepam on you, it will do something else to your brain. Then the fucker will rue the day! Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! [extends arm with umbrella straight up to sky]. Parkin's been. *Aaaaarggghhhh*! Well, that can't be sensible, can it? Where did you school? In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. Withnail: Monty: I need at least an hour for lunch. Marwood: [high-pitched voice] It's like a bloody rugby ball now, it will die, it will die! Withnail: Old suit?! Not the attitude I'd been given to expect from the H.E. His mechanism's gone, he's had more drugs than you've had hot dinners! Oh dear no no No, I'd be sucked into his trap! This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave oerhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. Be seated. [removing his sunglasses] Withnail: You can never, never disguise it. Withnail: And you'd be marvellous. I happened to be looking for a suit for the Coalman two weeks ago. Marwood: No we're not, we're here. Withnail: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. Little tarts, they love it! Find your neutral space. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). You have made it high. Having said that, I now intend to leave for London. Marwood: Withnail: Poacher. Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up! Find your neutral space. Don't look, don't look! Now, come along, Im going to teach you how to peel a potato., I must have some booze. We'll keep them here til they arrive. You beastly little parasite, how dare you! I've never met him. We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. Black puddings are no good to us. Oh, bollocks to the Wellingtons. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! Withnail & I Quotes