helpful non helpful. 25 funny and sweet messages to write in a retirement card - Metro We've found several retirement quotes and sayings that will fit their personality. Clarence Darrow, "I'm not just retiring from the company; I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron." 64. John Barrymore, You know youre getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while youre down there. Cop: No. Man: What about all these other cars? Cop: They didnt ask!. Because it was mugged. "We envy you, but are excited for you!". It is the beginning of the open highway." | Questions to ask the Facility, Moving A Parent With Dementia into Assisted Living. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. The claw Enforcement. 124 Famous Funny Inspirational Retirement Quotes in all your future endeavors! Retirement is a Piece of Cake. An officer stops a man for speeding and notices he's not wearing his required prescription glasses. You will always have a home here. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez "There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working" - Robert Half "I have never liked working. As you plan retirement figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life. "Won't You Celebrate with Me" by Lucille Clifton It's time to celebrate with loved ones. The ground is part of nature. What does it look like? the woman asked. Unknown, "Retirement isn't the end of the road, but just a turn in the road." 21. Else, I would have to go to the police station and report you to the cops. Before you die, give. To honor a retiring county sheriff, deputy, or other law enforcement officers or bid farewell as they embark on the next step of their professional career with this inspirational police quote and saying. Personalized "Retired" Travel Tumbler Check Latest Price SO I RETIRED AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB! The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. Having A Good Time Is My Job! Why did the police arrest the turkey? Some call it retirement; I call it bliss. Betty Sullivan, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Mason Cooley, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. Unknown, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Terri Guillemets, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Hugh Hefner, Often when you are at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. Fred Rogers, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. Funny Retirement Wishes: Humorous Quotes and Messages Unknown, If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as to work. Will Rogers, Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. 45 Funny Retirement Messages and Quotes - Someone Sent You A Greeting Retirement Party. After observing some erratic driving, he pulls the man over. Retirement Wishes - 100 Quotes Continued - Ventana Winds Retirement Confucius, Retirement is not the end of the road. 1. Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. George Foreman, People may live as much retired from the world as they like, but sooner or later they find themselves debtor or creditor to some one. - Malcolm Forbes. The largest collection of retirement one line jokes in the world. Dianne Nahirny, "A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. hypotheticals based on information you provide. Sylvester Stallone - Judge Dredd. I tell them, a paternity suit. What are the four food groups for cops? This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Here are a couple of one liners that you may be able to use: "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.". 623-975-0880. Susan Cain, It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. Take caution, though, these babies are bad to the bone. If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. JONATHAN CLEMENTS. SPPRA -- When Cops Retire 27. Funny Retirement Quotes - Funny Quotes about Retirement to Make the Retiree Smiles. assets, income, and investments such as equity in a home or savings accounts in addition to your Oh, my friend, that can't be! Retirement is not in my vocabulary. 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Retirement Farewell Quotes for Coworker. Your guide to financial planning and retirement, Community Mark Twain, A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. We, Your Friends and Brothers, John Bogle, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Harry Vardon, Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. I didn't grow up with professionals that retired. 75 Funny Retirement Quotes - Quotes For Boss & Co-Worker QuotesGram. Finally a police car comes up. 25+ Retirement Poems to Reflect on Your Life | Cake Blog I win! and drove off. "John Wick: "I'm workin' on it." - John Wick: Chapter 2. Weve also compiled some police officer happy retirement messages and wishes if youre looking for an inscription with a little more flexibility. Unknown, I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. 7. 2010-2023Sedona Winds Retirement CommunityAll Rights Reserved. "That's great!" says the doctor. Yo momma so fat she sat on the corner and the police came and said, "Break it up!". You Shall Always be a Soldier of the Law! 58 Funny Retirement Quotes to Make You Laugh The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. Now, as the day dawns R.C. Retirement means that you'll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. Funny Police Quotes - Etsy Funny cop retirement quotes. more on this quote . For myriad reasons, this is a sub-optimal short-term solution to what really is a long-term problem. For more information about our senior living facility, SLS Communities or to schedule a tour, please call us today at 623-544-4777. 50 Retirement Quotes That Will Resonate With Any Retiree - Southern Living Gilbert K. Chesterton, Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. Did you hear about the criminal who stole a lamp? . Wishing you all the best in your new retired life. Sandra Day OConnor, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. See top 10 retirement one liners. George Bernard Shaw, The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know youll grow out of it. At PoemSearcher.com find thousands of poems categorized into thousands of categories. Quote #20. Show your appreciation with unique quotes or personalized logos. Honoring Years of Dedicated Public Service, To A Retiring DHS Officer / Senior Leader. Retirement Quotes - Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Retired. Unknown, People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou, I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. 51. For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service Search, discover and share your favorite Retirement GIFs. Police Funny Quotes About Retirement. QuotesGram Congratulations. You've broken the law. It is what we do." -Police Officer Andrew Laurinec. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay Martin it's your turn. Goodbye Tension. Charles Francis Adams, The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. What are the cat police called? If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. This webpage contains inspirational retirement quotes and funny retirement quotes. Congratulations. Retired Legend . 13. All the best!". Doris Day, How old would you be if you didnt know how old you was? 48. individuals can use on their own behalf to help think through their future plans, but should not be Honor the dignity of the Thin Blue Line with police retirement plaque wording ideas that really mean something. May the wife have a happy time. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. "Congrats on being so tired that you had to retire.". Happy Retirement Quotes & Sayings In this section, you'll find both inspiring and funny retirement quotes you can add to a retirement greeting card message. it has a blue light. Jean Chatzky sums it up for me: "Whether it's fly-fishing, taking your camper to the Everglades, or just traveling, everyone has got a little retirement dream. The world needs more police officers like you. Explore 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings big! Here's to making your retirement a dream come true! Funny military sayings - Special Speeches Personalized Crystals to Celebrate Life's Moments 2023 DIYAwards.com. Why did the police arrest the star? I thought retiring was when you are tired and go to bed." Cop: When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least., Driver: Youre wrong, officer. What did the police arrest the hospital patient for? Bertrand Russell, Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think youre supposed to. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. "Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!". "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. George Burns, People ask me what Id most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. Gene Perret, "My father calls acting 'a state of permanent retirement with short spurts of work.'" 43. Why did the NYPD show up at the Mets game? Police say they have nothing to go on. "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch" R C Sherriff. A state trooper pulled a farmer over on a rural road and said, Sir, do you realize your brother fell out of the car several miles back?, To which the farmer replied, Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!, This article was originally published on Oct. 29, 2019, A Man Went Viral For Refusing To Give Up His Spot On A Ride To A Crying Child, An American Mom Shares The Utter Magic Of Danish Playgrounds. You Never Swerved From the Path of Duty. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. I can't take it any more! They said he was a real pro for a first offender. An officer comes across a man who is clearly under the influence. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Sherriff, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. "There is no elegant way to protect sheep from hungry wolves." -Unknown. Unknown, "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." Oliver Wendell Holmes, The best is yet to come! You have always dreamed of concentrating on your own project. I believe in financial retirement. . 23 Cop sayings and quotes - funny ideas - Pinterest It's when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it." Funny Police Retirement Quotes, Quotations & Sayings 2023 W. Somerset Maugham, Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need. This song shows that even goodbyes can be hellos to a new part of life. Discover and share Police Funny Quotes About Retirement. Charles Lamb. A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way. Here's hoping for a fun, rewarding and restful life.". Funny Retirement Quotes To Weave Into Humorous Retirement Speeches Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Jonathan Clements, I have never liked working. Then its time for my nap. Bob Hope, Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. Charles Baxter, The best thing about retirement is not having to wear pants. Mark Hewer, You might be on the back nine of life, but its good to finish strong. Morton Shaevitz, Retired is being tired twice, Ive thought, the first tired of working, then tired of not. Richard Armour, Youve heard of the three ages of man: youth, middle age, and youre looking wonderful. Cardinal Spellman, Goodbye to 9 to 5. "I'm not retiring. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. Catherine Pulsifer, "Retirement: No job, no stress, no pay!" 33. quotesgram.com. A Lifelong Friendship. Retirement Wishes for a Police Officer - Wishes Messages Sayings 30. Junior Seau. In appreciation for over 31 years Teachers: For teachers, the work is never done. The police are working tirelessly to catch him. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl.