Girl I love to see and experience the sweetest you can be. There you are in front of me. Nothing else comes to mind to finish this rhyme, so I'll just spit it out - most importantly, you gave us the Star Wars . Does your dad own a chocolate factory? The alien says "Yea, when he FIRST visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates. So I just snickered. - 23 Mar 2022. Cadbury is an international chocolate brand that is loved by many. Whenever I look at you I see something more desirable than chocolate. The Archbishop of Cadbury. Chalk, who? What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? One kid stepped up and slid down, he wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river. Susan Isaacs, The 12-step chocoholics program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE! The divine drink, which builds up resistance and fights fatigue. When no one understands you, chocolate is there. Because I see me filling you up with my nuts. Do you know a bakery around? Then you could kill as much as you desire. I told my girlfriend that if she wanted her Hersheys bar she had to bark like a dog. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. One smart cookie. How do you make a pool table laugh? Counselor Deanna Troi, Star Trek: The Next Generation. We've got all kinds of funniest dirty minded jokes covering from the nasty dark humor to toilet humor as well. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother." One liner tags: Christmas, dirty, kids, sport. Its nutty, crunchy, and chocolatey delicious. Can you think of anything sweeter than a joke about chocolate? Because I would love to make up for if you let me. Patrick Skene Catling. But considering the pandemic that our world is currently facing, the most important thing is that laughter increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving our resistance to disease. Cause mocha is made from two of my favorite food in the world. Hot chocolate. What does a person with no arms say when trying to eat a Hersheys Kiss? How do you by Taureano Ent January 12, 2020, 6:39 am 1.6k Views 3 Comments. Youll find here clean chocolate jokes and puns for chocolate lovers that you can share with everyone like your parents, school teacher, etc. So, as weird as it sounds, memes really can help you to fight the coronavirus. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: geovannebiggs, rpickford109, Mistisanders, Theodorkrueger, 810841252, kristine12, luketuffs10, Smanning1818, sophiathebest, sony8877, no1puppyhugger, Steveandde, lidaisy55. Because I would definitely want to taste your sweet. If you will allow me I would like to consume you everyday because I like the taste of you. Anything is good and useful if its made of chocolate. - You can have chocolate in in public. I am always ready for something sweet like you. They go ahead and do it, with success: the fish boat sinks. Imogen who? Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. Sooner or later I will get diabetes because of your sweetness. What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. Chocoearly. We're totally the "you made a really awesome kid" kid. What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Glazed and confused. We go together naturally like marshmallows go with chocolate. In 1724, Dr. Richard Brookes claimed that chocolate prolonged life and cured ringworm and ulcers. 84. If I have chocolate around, I will eat it. A naked man broke into a church. Mr. Goodbar! Baby I badly wanted to be the drizzle to your banana and strawberries. Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. The chemist sees the glass as completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the gaseous state. After a bar of chocolate one can forgive anybody, even ones relatives. Arnold Ismach, The Darker Side of Chocolate. Marquise de Svign, Chocolate is a perfect food, as wholesome as it is delicious, a beneficent restorer of exhausted power. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. 1 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Scooter: Haunted Explorations - Overnight Challenge - Exploring With Josh! Anything tastes better dipped in chocolate. Ive called my dog Cadbury Research Department. Whats the best part of Valentines Day? I feel better already. You can use these phrases in whatever comedic form you like. Shock-o-lat. When Luke was having trouble eating noodles with chopsticks, Leia said: "Use the forks, Luke." Chewie wanted a biscuit, so Luke gave him a chocolate chip Wookie. . Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. Top 22 Bahut Hi Gande Chutkule In Hindi | Very Dirty Jokes in Hindi | Unclejokes. Are you ready? What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? Check it out. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. Who's there? Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want! A cad-bury. Furthermore, most of these funny chocolate jokes are clean and safe for everyone. Because you are the only one that can satisfy me. You gave us the Wookiees, you gave us the thrills, you gave us the Adam Driver memes, and you gave us the spills. You look sad, let me sprinkle some of good vibes at you baby. Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. Hey baby, want to have some fun with me along with some chocolate tonight? Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be 105.". I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling . But she ate every letter in her name and left me with COCOA. Friend 1: Maybe you should go to hell! Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? Chocolate Jokes. Theres definitely a change it does to the chemistry of the body. While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra. Chocolate Jokes Dirty Jokes dirty What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Cao-cao!On a cold and gray Chicago mornin where was another little baby chocolate bar born?In the Gateaux (ghetto)!What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate?A Ferrari Rocher!Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd?He was nutty!What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy?Chocolate Chewbacca cookies!Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing?A Bounty-ful!Which candy bar always gets picked first for the sports team?A Skor!What do three men and fluffy nougat covered in chocolate have in common?3 Musketeers!Which is the clumsiest candy bar?A Butterfinger!What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack?Ones about Easter eggs theyre morbid!Which is a chocoholics favorite kind of party?One thats choco-lit!What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar?A Choco-Light!Why did the candy bar cross the road?Because he was choco-LATE for the bus!What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes?Snickers he only snickers!What do you call an extra sweet cookie?A chocolate chip cutie!What do you get when you enrobe a sheep in chocolate?A candy baaaaa-r!Why was the candy bar confused?Because she was a Her-She-y bar!What occasion do cute chocolate bars look forward to all month?PayDay! She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, "Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff." Because he was moo-dy! Nope, all outer space.. "For my first wish, I would like a boat with a full tank of petrol." The genie snaps his fingers and the boat appears. Dairy, who? Whos there? Chocolate fantasy in progress. Nibbling is not enough, know that I want to devour you fast. I go loco whenever I eat chocolate and you. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? Baby I would trade the entire candy bar in the world for you. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. My day got sprinkled with love! If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? You can be my chocolate bunny. A little too much chocolate is just about right. Because you're making me drool. Because he wanted to be a Smartie. Sweetie I can be your sweets in this world full of bitter people. Nursing Home. Terry Moore. Its not funny when someone steals your chocolate! Everyone got a piece. Knock knock! No, that's not an epi-pen in my pants. (Its the only planet with chocolate.). Open a box with chocolate jokes one liners that will make you laugh! Hershey makes millions of kisses a day, all I want is just one from you. mi tief three chocolate bars. I dont think theres anything hotter than a chocolate but hey! The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden my Starburst! Chocolates have the power to change peoples moods, and a box of chocolate will make most people happy also these chocolate one liners. Friend 1: Well, I don't want to go to hell. Want to see those? But he minded his own business.. Tap To Copy. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". Dave Barry, Eating chocolate can have significant influences on mood, generally leading to an increase in pleasant feelings and a reduction in tension. Nestle Crunk bar. #2. Knock knock! What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? The prisoners thought they wouldnt be any good, but they were. When people dessert you, eat ice cream! In addition to making us feel happy, it has a lot of other benefits as well. Chocolate is not a matter of life and death its more important than that! Do you think you need more sweet? How do you know it's cold outside? Since I lost my teeth all I can do is lick the chocolate off the M&Ms.. 55 Hilarious Movie Jokes That Will Make You Binge, 97 Funny Animal Jokes From Zoo Animals, Dogs and of course, Cats. Edit them in the Widget section of the. "Sorry" says the attendant, "we're all out of chocolate ice cream." "In that case" says the man, "I'll have a pint of vanilla, a . Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826). God is watching." Wanna take the joke a little far? Hey, are you a conditioned stimulus? Better late than never, right? Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Once you consume chocolate, chocolate will consume you. A cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a whole day without food. He turned into a box of chocolates. By eating a 1.5-ounce milk chocolate bar, you get the same amount of these protective compounds as in a 5-ounce glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. Please add a link to this article. What do cannibals eat for dessert? Girl my taste buds almost always craves for chocolate but now it craves for you. President Lincoln was approached by a woman after a political speech. I love it, I love it, I love it. Enjoy. Some like it hot, some like it cold; I like it chocolate! You have this ability to make me so happy like only sweet foods can do. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. Baby Ruth! The man asks, "Why are you doing that? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe, Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? The jamaican mon said "check the guyanese pockets and yuh find all three a dem". ", A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. Youre like a sweet because Id like to drizzle you on any food and still not get enough of you. Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you dont need an appointment. Given enough chocolate and coffee, I could rule the world. - Dr. I can only imagine how people in the park would react! Huh?I opened a Mars bar once.I discovered martians love gin.Life is like a box of chocolatesMostly disappointing.A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar.The man sitting next to him looks over and says, Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.The boy looks over and responds, My great grandfather lived to be 105.The man replies, And he ate that much chocolate?No, says the boy. I like my girls like I like my Hershey Kisses I dont know about you but sharing this bar with you feels absolutely right. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. I appreciate a balanced diet. You can laugh out loud together with your friends with these chocolate jokes and riddles. A: Proofreading. Imogen. Some consider carob an adequate substitute for chocolate because it has some similar nutrients (calcium, phosphorus), and because it can, when combined with vegetable fat and sugar, be made to approximate the color and consistency of chocolate. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. Add love and sweet chocolate to your romantic life today. Q: Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevant. Babe, you know what's better than that Tootsie roll? Chocoearly. Darling I will supply you with stash of sweets and my never ending love for you. Im never a selfish person but when it comes to sharing you with other peopleI dont think so. Candy cow jump over the moon? Id give up chocolate, but Im no quitter. I know youre a chocolate lover and want to have some fun with your friend, so that will help you. "nobody cya tief like me! What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy? You know youre a chocoholic if the bartender tells you youve had enough shots of chocolate syrup for one night. I love chocolate to eat. More Quotes When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?" A new hybrid. 66 Frozen Yogurt and Ice Cream Pick Up Lines, 147 Deli Pick Up Lines (Meat Cold Cut, Cheese, Bread, Sandwich). That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. . What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? So, grab your chocolate chip cookies and get ready for some laughs. You are a fountain of all the sweets in the world and that is why I love you. Our selection of dark chocolate jokes ranging from chocolate bars to chocolate cookies will make you laugh so hard. Today, it's sunny with a chance of sprinkles! He dips his nuts in chocolate. There was a million dollars. You're a chip off the old block (of cookie dough). Q: Why dont they make white M&Ms? In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page. You are like a box full of sweet that I cannot get hands off. An old man and a young man work together in an office. The smile looks really good on you. 1940s-early 1960s [ edit] Cora: A brown-haired girl who appeared only in single-page comic strips in the 1960s. Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Cadbury Egg in her stomach. Chocolate Tessellation inspired me to mix cacao and cocoa alphabetically, but that made me sneeze: aaaccccooo!. An old man and a young man worked in office next to each other. Kids these days are so stupid. Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. What is the opposite of Chocolate? Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. You're the milk to my cookie. 6. Would you like to hear some sexy chocolate jokes? I hope in all the stars that you and I will not have any expiration date. Hello Chocolate chimp! Round at the bottom, skinny at the top. You can only drink hot chocolate all year long if you are cocoa-nuts. Have you seen all jokes? The optimist sees the glass as half full. A: Because, when you put three of them together, you get KKK. A Kitty Kat bar. Copy This. Your gonna choke alot. Love & Sex 10) Dirty Harry: A middle-aged septic tank maintenance man with an aversion to bathing and a love of off-color jokes is taken by surprise as his family and friends stage an intervention. One thats choco-lit! I can definitely make an adjustment for you. Whos there? The best of all worlds. And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! Q: Why do complete morons hate M&Ms? Do you mind if I share these chocolate with you? You make everything taste better just like cocoa. A balanced diet consists of items from the five major food groups: dairy, grains, meats, fruits/vegetables, and chocolate. Because I want to take your top off and gobble you up. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. I dont really get the jokes funny at all! Sandra Boynton, Chocolate: the Consuming Passion, Carob is a brown powder made from the pulverized fruit of a Mediterranean evergreen. Baby I am only tempted by two things: you and chocolate. Since Im all about chocolate, how bout a little sugar? Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar. Babe I am so happy to see you, and this is definitely not a chocolate bar in my pants. Want to share this lovely candy bar with me and possibly a lifetime? ChocoLATE I do not want anything fancy just you and a whole bowl of flavored ice cream. Cause I want to take your top off. Wookies don't like steak because they think it is too chewy. He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae. Maria. Exercise is a dirty word Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. Baby youre so sweet youd put Hershey's out of business! John Milton, The Devils Advocate. Its summertime, which means chocolate jokes are right up your alley if youre feeling the heat. Why didnt the cow produce any chocolate milk? "I've never laughed a woman in to bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times.". I identify as a chocolate bar. But he minded his own business.Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist?He had a chip in his tooth.Why is a Toblerone triangular?So it fits in the box.There are two types of people in this world:People who love chocolate and liars.What is the opposite of Chocolate?Chocoearly.What Christmas carol do candy bars sing?Almond Joy To The World.Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?Because it lost its filling! I cannot think of anything sweeter than chocolate than oops of course there is you! Consequently, these chocolate jokes can also make your frown turn upside down! I love a man with chocolate on his breath. A Kitty Kat bar! Why not! Yo mamma so dumb, if her brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill a M&M. - The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. A pound a day often. A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. They actually believe Ive got chocolate in my van. Comedy Central. the cashier said " sure" "hand me a chocolate bar" he ate it. Why did the donut visit the dentist? If you were a concentration gradient, I . Sure enough, nine months later, out popped? Because I would like one kiss from you. Too much of a good thing is simply wonderful! Friend 2: Can't, I'm not black. A PayDay. MOVIE URBAN LEGEND: Roald Dahl hid a dirty joke in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is a beloved children's film and one of the things that people definitely love about it is how edgy the whole thing is. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? 1. And cause them long for you know what, If they but taste of chocolate. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. Baby you light up my mood like the way chocolate can. When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! 107 Chocolate Jokes That Are Deliciously Funny! Chalk Available on Etsy. I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay. The tenth lies. I donut want to glaze over the fact that I like you a hole lot. (Grandparent Jokes & Dog Jokes) Why was the Grinch afraid of Santa Claus?. Babe, you are definitely not M&M, because you are melting by my fingers. A: To get chocolate milk. Itll take the edge off your appetite, and youll eat less. "Mon, where's the magic?" said the cashier. Knock knock! Cao-cao! Chocolate jokes for kidsare another way to make them smile. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's.". I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" A: Theyre too hard to peel. Oleg Kiselev, Caramels are only a fad. What's the difference between kinky and perverted? My favorite is the old man trying to get to the chocolate chip cookies. Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey?" Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver! Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. Deal? Dont they actually counteract each other? Betty Crocker. Debbie and Dilly Dalton: In the early years, identical blonde twins Debbie and Dilly Dalton appeared. Q: What happens if you mix hot cacao and hot cocoa by hand? I feel better already with you holding my hand, sweets arent even needed. We have plenty of pickupline ideas about chocolate for you to use. C? For the serious chocoholic, chocolate is better than sex. You've probably laughed when you saw someone slip over a banana peel before but that's not the only time this fruit can be funny. I bought a Mars bar, a Milky Way and a galaxy, and they were astronomical.I got myself a hazelnut and chocolate sports car. What is a French cat's favorite dessert? Diet Advice Plump lady to the waitress: Id like Death by Chocolate for dessert, but only enough to put me in critical condition. A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. Do you love chocolate or hot cocoa? Everyone will be happy when they see them, as they will raise their moods. But if you're bold enough to deliver a punchline, you deserve the laughs it'll earn you. Joe Vinson, Ph.D., University of Scranton, Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the worlds perfect food. I always have a couple of Twix up my sleeves. We have gathered some of the funniest and amusingly ridiculous chocolate jokes, funny chocolate stories, puns, and one-liners youll ever see. A chocolate shake. Keep calm and eat cookies. @. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Though, it is still possible to console yourself with chocolate jokes. Linda Grayson, The Printwick Papers. Because I want you to spread for my satisfaction tonight. - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales. He says "I'd like a kipper tie please". Choco-early. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. Take a closer look at the list of short chocolate jokes! Forget love Id rather fall in chocolate! What do you call a womanising chocolate? If you were ice cream and i was chocolate sauce, I'd pour my love all over you! A: The letters a and o are reversed. He rubs it and a genie appears. I would go to Italy and eat ice cream if I won the gelato-ry! A cad-bury. Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. The Chocolate Cream Soldier, Arms and the Man, I owe it all to little chocolate donuts. What's the best part of Valentines Day? Hot fudge fills deep needs. University of California-Berkeley Wellness Letter, We already know that increased consumption of fruits and vegetables results in an increase of antioxidants in our blood. I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. Its something that should be had on a daily basis. Furtiveness makes it better. Half dark and half light chocolate. A mum to her son: Yesterday there were two chocolate cakes in the pantry and now theres only one. One day while the older man was away from his desk, the young man couldnt resist and went to the old mans jar and ate over half the peanuts. I learned to love sweets because of you and I am thankful for that. He opened it and out popped a genie, who gave the man three wishes. Babe you look absolutely better when you take that wrapper off of you. Q: Why did the complete moron get fired from the M&M factory? I reckon its just a Chinese whisper. What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? the cashier said " sure" "hand me a chocolate bar" he ate it. I have a couple twix up my sleeve. "No" says the boy, "he minded his own fucking business. Stay out of those, said his wife, theyre for the funeral., A young girl was at the dentist for a check up. 4. Chocolate are always better when shared with you. I can make you so happy with all the stash I have at home. Half dark and half light chocolate. If you have enjoyed this collection, we sure have more for you. Your stress-free life helps you maintain a youthful disposition, both physically and mentally. A Butterfinger! I was going to get you a box of chocolates, but you already have a sweeter box. A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. You brighten up my day like only drizzle on strawberries can. Dont you think you have got to check if you have diabetes? Im not overweight, just chocolate enriched. 64460V@D1.UUCP (R Scott V Paterson) A man walks into the local ice cream parlor and tells the attendant he wants a gallon of vanilla, a gallon of strawberry and a gallon of chocolate ice cream. Because I'd love to spread them! ", and the jamaican said " mek wi go back to the store,me ago show yuh a who a the real tief". What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack? Knock knock! I like my cocoa maragnan just like I like my nights full of flavor because of you. Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory jokes are never entirely appropriate. There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. - Geronimo Piperni, quoted by Antonio Lavedn, surgeon in the Spanish army, 1796. Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, Saturday Night Live, As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. Chocolate isnt a food, its a medicine an anti-depressant. Chocolate is a divine, celestial drink, the sweat of the stars, the vital seed, divine nectar, the drink of the gods, panacea and universal medicine. These banana puns are going to make you peel over in laughter. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . While some of the jokes on this list are pretty straightforward (see the Cat's boner-hat at the end), this one really is for the older crowd. There was a convertible. Chocolate boosts your immunity and heart health and improves brain function. What kind of candy makes fun of you? You and I were mint to be! Diabetes. Whats a monkeys favourite kind of chocolate? I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts.I wont lie, it was a Rocky Road.So I try to eat healthy.But every time I try, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.What type of snack is never on time?Choco-late.My cousin works in a chocolate shop.He works behind the bar.Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in Egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.They believe its Pharaoh Roche.My son is three years old and I took him shopping.When we got home, he had a chocolate bar in his pocket.Now, I didnt buy it and he certainly didnt buy it, so I marched him straight back to the shopping centre and went to the jewellers.A Korean martial artist was giving away chocolate bars.I asked if I could have 2.He said, No.