a[a9]._Q.push([c, r]) Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? #government. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, 16. Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question everything that they read Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, 86. Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Chris Evans Inspiring Quotes on Happiness, Success, and Being Laser Focused on Love, Strangers Spring Into Action to Save a Driver in Crisis on a Busy Road [VIDEO], 8-Year-Old Finds Out His Favorite Waffle House Waiter Is Hiding a Secret Doesnt Hesitate to Raise $64,000 for Him, White Woman Refuses to Listen to Dad After He Forbid Her From Marrying a Black Man 60 Years Later, Theyre Still Together, Kansas City Chiefs Fans Donate Over $300,000 to Buffalo Childrens Hospital After Dramatic Playoff Win Versus Rivals. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. You have owners. Be happy with what youve got, because the owners of this country dont want that. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, 44. Everybodys going to save something now. Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Thats the problem. George Carlin, 58. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, 18. Top George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. George Carlin, 69. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. //George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads.com there's no such thing as rights. Its totally FREE. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.George Carlin, I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. Period. Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin, 35. It can help you a lot. George Carlin, 8. Whether we agreed with his acerbiccommentary or not, his words always reminded us of how sharp a weapon humor can be in slicing through the surface of our assumptions and leaving us, as he would say, gasping for breath.. What George Carlin Believed About Religion Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, 53. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. George Carlin, 87. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? Continue with Recommended Cookies. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin, 50. " George Carlin Quotes "War will end when people stop showing up for it. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time, George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other It always has been. (function(e){var c=e;var a=c.ue||{};a.main_scope="mainscopecsm";a.q=[];a.t0=c.ue_t0||+new Date();a.d=g;function g(h){return +new Date()-(h?0:a.t0)}function d(h){return function(){a.q.push({n:h,a:arguments,t:a.d()})}}function b(m,l,h,j,i){var k={m:m,f:l,l:h,c:""+j,err:i,fromOnError:1,args:arguments};c.ueLogError(k);return false}b.skipTrace=1;e.onerror=b;function f(){c.uex("ld")}if(e.addEventListener){e.addEventListener("load",f,false)}else{if(e.attachEvent){e.attachEvent("onload",f)}}a.tag=d("tag");a.log=d("log");a.reset=d("rst");c.ue_csm=c;c.ue=a;c.ueLogError=d("err");c.ues=d("ues");c.uet=d("uet");c.uex=d("uex");c.uet("ue")})(window);(function(e,d){var a=e.ue||{};function c(g){if(!g){return}var f=d.head||d.getElementsByTagName("head")[0]||d.documentElement,h=d.createElement("script");h.async="async";h.src=g;f.insertBefore(h,f.firstChild)}function b(){var k=e.ue_cdn||"z-ecx.images-amazon.com",g=e.ue_cdns||"images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com",j="/images/G/01/csminstrumentation/",h=e.ue_file||"ue-full-11e51f253e8ad9d145f4ed644b40f692._V1_.js",f,i;if(h.indexOf("NSTRUMENTATION_FIL")>=0){return}if("ue_https" in e){f=e.ue_https}else{f=e.location&&e.location.protocol=="https:"?1:0}i=f? Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. var stylesheet = document.createElement("link"); Theyre always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. George Carlin, 29. If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. We havent tried that for a while. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? > Quotable Quote. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin quote: I have certain rules I live by. My - Lib Quotes We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. George Carlin, 51. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. 2023 Inspirationfeed. My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. Yeah, I know, youre thinking. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. - George Carlin profile quotes. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. Maybe this time itll work. A comedian can say things that you may not want to hear but need to. The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. Its no secret that George Carlin was a bit of a political philosopher. The people are fucked! George Carlin, 80. We just believed everything. "//securepubads.g.doubleclick.net/tag/js/gpt.js"; They should be more vivid. Apparently, were not ready for that! George Carlin, 72. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. Nobody owns anything. apstag.init({ Quotes. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. George Carlin. October 29, 2004. 11 Profound Quotes on Politics by George Carlin Did you enjoy this article? window.csa("Events")("setEntity", { I think people should be allowed to do what they want. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. //Best George Carlin quotes on life, religion and politics Just daydreaming. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. "ObfuscatedMarketplaceId": "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1" Then you live in an old age home. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, 4. Its only a piece of cloth. George Carlin, 75.The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful of insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. return false; Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. His jokes were certainly aimed to provoke others but the hows and whys of it made him so exceptional. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. a[a9] = { I've set my own rules to live by. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. They own, and control the corporations. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. George Carlin, 62. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. "I have certain rules I live by. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. var ue_mid = "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1"; The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. googletag.pubads().enableAsyncRendering(); And the supreme arrogance? Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, 21. var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, 59. [CDATA[ That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." ' George Carlin, 56. He loves you and he needs money. Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize Im listening to it. Everything He ever makesdies.George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin Shitting on Government for 8 Minutes Straight LaughPlanet 900K subscribers Subscribe 42K 1.3M views 2 years ago #GeorgeCarlin #Comedy #America George Carlin Shitting on Government. You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. Well, its Gods will. Thy Will Be Done. Fine, but if its Gods will, and Hes going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. q("f", arguments) George Carlin, Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?George Carlin, Electricity is really just organized lightningGeorge Carlin, Would a fly without wings be called a walk?George Carlin, There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music." - George Carlin 4. if(cookiePair[0] === name) { " George Carlin "https:" : "http:") + Let George Carlin Inspire You! #shorts #georgecarlin #motivataion # url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", } They own all the important land. Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. 123 Witty George Carlin Quotes on Life and Politics - Internet Pillar He was regarded as an influential and significant comic of all time. If you can connect with theseGeorge Carlin quotes, subscribe to our blog so that you dont miss a single post. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images By Daniel Kurtzman Updated on 06/20/18 "In America, anyone can become president. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. What are your favorite George Carlin quotes? } The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. The future will soon be a thing of the past. George Carlin Sayings and Quotes about life! He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. This is what we have to offer. You should die first, get it out of the way. George Carlin > Quotes (?) Dont look for it. Theyre all in favour of the unborn. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("resource", "author_22782"); He's the subject of a new documentary. Best Quotes & Jokes by George Carlin | SComedy window.Mobvious.device_type = 'mobile'; I think that speaks for itself. "Application": "GoodreadsMonolith", (function() { I hate groups of people. Aparently we're not ready for that! Question it, and try to see the world for what it actually is, as opposed to what someone or some company or some organization or some government is trying to represent it as, or present it as, however they've mislabeled it or dressed it up or told you. If you enjoyed the following article we humbly ask you to comment, and help us spread the word! Well, we know what they want. Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin, 20. But he loves you. Lists. And armbands. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. 101 Marianne Williamson Quotes That Will Enlighten You. We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! George Denis Patrick Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. The planet is fine. It takes up a lot of your time. Whats that, a bonus? Deal with it. George Carlin, One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. // page settings var gptAdSlots = gptAdSlots || []; } g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. var gads = document.createElement("script"); You dont. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. Showing 1-30 of 421 "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." George Carlin tags: humor , insanity , lies , lying , self-indulgence , truth 19588 likes Like "The planet is fine. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth. We dont even know how to take care of ourselves; we havent learned how to care for one another. In America, anyone can become president. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. My mind doesnt work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking and Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions I have certain rules I live by. fetchBids: function() { That is against their interests. "Events.SushiEndpoint": "https://unagi.amazon.com/1/events/com.amazon.csm.csa.prod", And I didnt really care in the first place.George Carlin, Dont confuse me with those who cling to hope. (function () { Actually, I think that class was called Religion. A.async = !0; The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. Its because volunteers work for no pay. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. But there is an I in independence, individuality, andintegrity. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, 65. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. It is one that we need to function as a society. I sincerely believe that if you think theres a solution, youre part of the problem. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. throw new Error("could not load device-specific stylesheet : " + err.message); I hate a group of people with a common purpose. //]]> We havent tried that for a while. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. Vicious Quotes Page 5. . "Never argue with an idiot. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. Quote by George Carlin - SComedy Laugh until you gasp for breath.George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.George Carlin, People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. Resources. Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. " George Carlin Quotes "Most of the country was founded by slave owners so they could be free. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. 125 Best George Carlin QuotesFunny George Carlin Quotes on Life Died: June 22, 2008 (aged 71) George Carlin Quotes . George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) - Goodreads Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe. Please dont forget to subscribe to ourRSS-feedor followInspirationfeedonTwitter,Google+,andFacebook! The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. If you can find a solution to homelessness where the corporations and politicians can make a few million dollars each, you will see the streets of America begin to clear up pretty damn quick! George Carlin, 67. }, I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. George Carlin Quotes Government. QuotesGram The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, 13. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I, myself, have killed six people. "Men are from Earth,. George Carlin "The planet is fine. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. return true; 4. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. Quote by George Carlin: "But there's a reason. There - Goodreads He was a true outspoken man that we can emulate in many ways. Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? We cut education, in 50 years, well be so stack with idiots with shitty jobs that we wont have enough money to pay for defense! George Carlin, 85. try { if (window.csa) { They've long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. How are YOU going to tackle today? George Carlin has many famous quotes about government, education and the American dream that are often referenced as truth. When you die, it all stays here. Ever. Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. In America, anyone can become president. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Its never going to get any better. }("apstag", window, document, "script", "//c.amazon-adsystem.com/aax2/apstag.js"); George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. for(var i=0; i Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. "Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation." George Carlin Read more quotes from George Carlin Share this quote: Like Quote Recommend to friends Friends Who Liked This Quote